Suspicious Spaceman Spam (And Atrocious Alliteration)

From time to time, users with Polish-sounding names leave comments on my posts, and they get flagged up as spam. But maybe they’re not really spam; maybe it’s just Polish people with a really bad translator trying to show their appreciation for my blog.

I’d like to take this opportunity to thank some of those Polish-sounding people for taking the time and effort to respond to my work (any associated links have been left out for obvious reasons).

Earlier today, piernekiche said:

“In place of of texting my daughter pertaining to laundry, I accidentally texted a banker from function and it autocorrected to whores.”

Well, piernekiche, you wouldn’t be the first person to fall victim to auto-correct, nor the first to be rumbled by a banker, either. It’s something auto-correct and bankers share in common; they cannot be trusted. Never.

Good luck with contacting your daughter (regardless of whether she’s a whore).

At stupid o’clock last night, wirtualne biuro katowice said:

“Great write-up, I’m normal visitor of one’s site, maintain up the nice operate, and It is going to be a regular visitor for a lengthy time.”

So nice to hear from another visitor! I thought I was the only one on Earth right now! Though I do take exception to your use of the word “normal.” Surely we should be beyond assigning ourselves such primitive (and judgmental) labels. I do hope you enjoy being regular.

Yesterday, torty ślubne katowice (possibly a relation to the above commenter) said:

“Fantastic goods from you, man. I have understand your stuff previous to and you are just too fantastic. I actually like what you have acquired here, certainly like what you are stating and the way in which you say it. You make it enjoyable and you still take care of to keep it smart. I cant wait to read far more from you. This is actually a tremendous site.”

Being an alien visitor to this place, I don’t actually possess a heart, but rest assured, if I had one, it would be warmed by your touching comments. I’m very glad my fantastic, enjoyable smartness has made an impact. I have to ask, though… was that you I saw spying on my spaceship from the bushes with your telescope the other night? If so, please could you stop doing it? I don’t know how, but you always manage to time it when I’m in the middle of taking a relaxing sonic-shower. I may not be human, but I have rights.

On the 4th April, szko³a dla doros³ych warszawa said:

“There are actually a variety of particulars like that to take into consideration. That may be a great point to carry up. I offer the ideas above as common inspiration however clearly there are questions just like the one you carry up the place crucial thing will likely be working in honest good faith. I don?t know if best practices have emerged around issues like that, however I am positive that your job is clearly recognized as a good game. Both girls and boys feel the affect of just a second’s pleasure, for the rest of their lives.”

Umm… okaaaay. I don’t know what “pleasure” you’re talking about (are you confusing me with a purveyor of pornography, perchance?) but I certainly appreciate your, umm… yeah.

The day before that, młóto browarne said:

“whoah this blog is great i love reading your posts. Keep up the good work! You know, lots of people are hunting around for this information, you can aid them greatly.”

What?! People are hunting for this information? How do they know about it? My reports to my Homeworld are for my High Commander’s eyes only! Wait, are you a sneaky government agent spying on my communications? Tell your colleagues to cease their activities or I will be forced to take action!

On the same day, adwokat pszczyna said:

“Just about all of whatever you point out is astonishingly accurate and it makes me ponder the reason why I hadn’t looked at this with this light previously. This article really did switch the light on for me personally as far as this topic goes. Nonetheless at this time there is actually 1 factor I am not really too comfy with so whilst I try to reconcile that with the actual main idea of your position, permit me see just what all the rest of your readers have to point out.Very well done.”

I really have no idea which factor you’re not comfortable with. As I’ve mentioned previously, I’m not into probing. Or is this about that meteorite incident? Look, I’m sorry; how was I supposed to know that playing Meteor Pinball in your solar system would injure so many people? I promise I won’t do it again, okay? Also, many thanks for pointing out how astonishingly accurate my reports are. I’m glad somebody thinks that way; my High Commander certainly doesn’t appreciate how much hard work I’m putting into this assignment, even though I didn’t ask for it or even want it.

And last (for the moment) on the 31st March, Anonymous said this:

“I was recommended this website by means of my cousin. I’m no longer certain whether or not this submit is written by means of him as no one else recognise such specific about my trouble. You are incredible! Thanks!”

Human, whilst I humbly accept your claim of my incredibility, I suspect you have some deep-seated emotional problems. Whatever “trouble” you’re going through, I suggest you seek professional help. A blog is not a healthy outlet for your issues.

PS, please tell your cousin to stop perving on me in the sonic-shower.

Thanks.

 

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