Joe’s Bar – Flash Fiction Challenge

I haven’t been around much recently, and that probably won’t change for the next couple of months, but today’s Flash Fiction Challenge, courtesy of Chuck Wendig, was short enough that I thought I could cobble something together that other people may wish to use next week.

Might not be around to continue taking part myself… but we’ll see!

Joe’s Bar

        “Buy me a drink,” he said, bloodshot eyes meeting mine from further down the bar, “and I’ll tell you how I broke the world.”
I gave a snort, took a long swig of my G&T, and turned my attention back to the game being shown on Joe’s decrepit TV.
“Go on,” he insisted, in a voice ravaged by years of strong alcohol. “It’ll be worth it.”
Glancing around, I looked for help, but none of the other patrons of the grotty bar were paying attention to me being pestered by the old loon, and the bartender was very focused on cleaning a glass. The old man’s eyes bored into me from beneath his dirty mop of hair, and in the dim light of Joe’s Bar I saw the dark red stains on his grey trenchcoat.
“Alright.” The game was dull anyway. “What’s your poison?”
“Scotch on the rocks.”
I nodded at the barkeep, and the old man watched hungrily as the amber nectar was poured.
“Go on then,” I prompted him. “Tell me how you broke the world.”
He took a sip of his drink, gave a happy sigh, and looked up at me with those blodshot eyes.
“It all started in 1939…”

19 Comments on “Joe’s Bar – Flash Fiction Challenge

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    • Nicely done! I can’t remember my google+ account login info to reply on your site, but I like the twist you’ve given the story. I wish it could have been a longer continuation, as I would have liked to have seen where you took this.

      Not at all grotty 😉

      Like

      • I don’t think you have to log in to comment. Do you? If so, I need to change that! But thank you for the nice comments. Part of me wanted to go on–but I actually have no idea where to take it!

        I’ll check out Paul’s version as soon as I have a minute, too.

        Like

        • When I clicked on the commenty box it automatically threw up a google+ login thing… which I do have an account for, I just forgot my password. And then it tried to make me create a new account and I couldn’t get back to the password screen to try a different one. Silly google+ 😦

          Like

          • Argh! I hope it’s not shutting out people without Google accounts! Maybe I’ll unlink it.

            Like

  8. Yay your back! Maybe not for long, but I can be happy while it lasts. I do like the cliffhanger nature it of it. Ironcially, I started mine in a bar too. To many years of rpgs have corrupted my mind.

    Probably, going to do this one for my part two.

    Like

    • Ahh, a fellow bar-aficionado. Eeeexcellent.Must admit, my mind first told me to set it in a Forgotten-Realms style tavern/inn, complete with mandatory world-weary serving wenches and drunk retired adventurers. And it was going to be a retired adventurer telling the tale of how he broke the world. But when I tried it out in my head, the description of the tavern, the wenches and the smell of urine-like-beer alone was about five hundred words, so I canned it for something easier (and less likely to get me sued by WotC).

      Now to read yours!

      Like

  9. Well the first sentence was a clincher and you certainly didn’t disappoint with the rest!

    Small note: did you mean “gritty” here : none of the other patrons of the grotty bar were paying ?

    Like

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